In the world of technology, online dating is becoming more and more commonplace. It’s almost no longer shameful to meet your significant other online. In fact, two really good friends of mine met their now husbands on OkCupid.
I have the exact opposite luck with guys. In fact, I have the worst luck with dating online. Don’t believe me? Let me tell you about the time my OkCupid date catfished me.
Two years ago, in Chicago, I met “Jorge” off of OkCupid and we messaged each other there daily for two weeks. He seemed like a great guy, was listed in my age range and had a variety of photos of himself and his dog. Our conversations were full of witty banter and flirtatious remarks. So, it was no surprise that I was beyond excited when he finally asked me out on a date.
Since he lived out in the Chicago suburbs and I lived in the city, he decided that he would come into the city on Friday night for our date. It was the dead of winter, there was three feet of snow on the ground and the place I picked was famous for their hotty toddies.
I took an Uber to the restaurant and was a few minutes late on purpose. When I walked in, I scanned the restaurant looking for Jorge. I spotted the restrooms in the back left corner and booths lined the back and front wall. There were two couples sitting in the back booths sitting intimately with each other and an older man sitting near the door, but still no sign of Jorge. It was as I made eye contact with this older man that he waved at me and stood up gesturing towards the booth across from him.
Head tilted and cautious, I approached the booth, “Are you, Jorge?” I asked him completely baffled as I took him in. He was wearing a beaten and worn baseball cap. He looked nothing like the photos on OkCupid. On OkCupid, he was a six foot, tanned, and sculpted Spanish god. In real life, he looked like one of those trolls from Frozen.
It didn’t end with just his looks though. The guy I had been talking to on OkCupid had flawless English and grammar skills. After I ordered a glass of water from the waitress, I quickly learned that this too was a lie. The man sitting across from me, who now told me his name was Jose–not Jorge like he originally said, couldn’t speak a lick of English. He knew a few words and phrases but not enough to carry on with a full conversation like we had been.
I managed to bring my phone out in our conversation and send an emergency text to my roommate to call and bail me out. One minute later, I have a frantic roommate calling me to tell me that she took the trash out in her PJs and managed to lock herself out of the apartment. I explained to him that I had to leave as she was freezing out in the cold.
He nodded and while I was still on the phone with her, got up to use the restroom. While he was in the restroom, I explained to my roommate what had happened and she suggested that I make my leave as he was in the restroom. I didn’t want to be rude and leave while he was in the bathroom, but the bartenders and waitress could tell that something was up.
Once he came back from the bathroom, I told my roommate that I was on the way and just had to call an Uber back to our apartment. Well, Jose must’ve thought the date had gone well because he insisted on driving me home while I insisted that I could take an Uber back to my apartment without his help.
He kept nagging me about it so I agreed to let him drive me home rather than make a scene in the restaurant. I got into his passenger seat and directed him to a friend’s apartment that was nearby. As he pulled up to my friend’s apartment, that he thought was mine, I opened the door and began to get out of the car. He leaned across the seat and asked, “Will I see you again?” I nodded and said, “Maybe! Text me and we’ll figure it out.” Then I shut the car door and made a mad dash into my friend’s apartment building. Luckily, as I was running up to the door someone was coming out and I was able to get all the way into the apartment lobby and behind two locked doors.
I called my roommate to explain to her that I was on my way home but was hiding out in my friend’s apartment lobby for ten minutes before I ordered my Uber back to our apartment. Once I felt that enough time had passed, I ordered an Uber back to my apartment and was greeted with an overly excited roommate and a bottle of wine.
We poured two glasses of wine, and I told her the story of how my date catfished me.
What was your weirdest first date? Have you ever been catfished? Tell me in the comments below!